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In reaction to the froofraw about That Idiot In Florida, the wise and wonderful [livejournal.com profile] catsittingstill proposed that we mark today by posting in favor of religious tolerance.  TIIF seems to have backed down and will hopefully start receiving the attention he deserves (that would be absolutely none, for those of you who've watched too much television), but it still seems like a topic worth discussing.

I have personally struggled with my feelings about religion for all of my life as far back as I can remember having any sort of philosophical thoughts.  My mother came from a fundamentalist family, a faith that practices adult baptism -- they believe you have to be old enough to actually choose to join the religion for it to count -- and by the time she was old enough, she had decided she did not believe.  My father was raised Episcopalian, but he wasn't very devout.  When I was pretty young, he converted to Catholicism, and for a few years he went through the motions of being devout.  I was old enough to have an ingrained habit of not wanting to go to church when he decided that he'd like me to go with him.  My father was not a violent, forceful man who would drag me, especially since my mother would have taken my side.  Instead, he bribed me; if I would go to church with him (and behave reasonably well), he would give me some money -- rather more than my regular allowance at that time.  So I went, even though it made me uncomfortable.  I don't recall my thoughts in detail, but I know that I felt something wrong about pretending to believe when I didn't.  I can't recall just how long this went on, but after some amount of time, I decided it wasn't worth it and I stopped going.  After that, I might have been pressured into attending a holiday service or two, but otherwise, I've not been to a church service other than a wedding or a funeral.

During that period where I was attending Mass, I did absorb some of the doctrine and ritual, and just going through my life paying attention to stuff in the background, I've learned some things about the Bible and Christianity, but I haven't studied them in detail, either academically or religiously.  Most of the exposure I get to religion is what gets echoed back to me through the media, and most of that is the bad stuff.  I developed some strong feelings -- let's not mince words, I developed a blind, foaming hatred -- of fundamentalists and of preachers and politicians who use religion to whip up their supporters so they gain personal power.  Those feelings were so strong that I'd decided that organized religion was itself an evil that society should seek to root out.  My motto was that religion should be strictly limited to being practiced in private among consenting adults.

More recently, my thinking has become more complex.  I haven't exactly mellowed out; I can still get screaming mad when I hear a news story about people ruining other people's lives in the name of religious beliefs, whether it be a doctor in Afghanistan shot by Taliban who claim he was trying to convert people to Christianity, or a teacher in the US fired for not being anti-gay enough.  But I've also come to some realization that most people who are religious are basically good people, they believe a lot of the same things I do, and that their religion helps them.  I still see some strains of religion that seek to wipe out all trace of rational thought in their followers in place of blind obedience to the holy message, and some believers who hate the burden of thinking so much that they want to go along with it.  But there are a lot more people who are reasonable about it; who believe in a religion, but are still capable of looking at an individual situation thoughtfully and compassionately.

I got about this far writing and realized that I've lost track of what I was trying to say.  That happens to me a lot.  Where were we again?  Oh, right.  Religious tolerance.  I've spent a lot of my life having little tolerance for religion myself, but I'm learning better.  I hope we can all learn to recognize that most religions are much more complex and worthy than the evil caricatures we see sensationalized in the media, that most people, whatever religion they may practice, have both good and bad in them, and that we can all be better people and have better lives if we stop feeling the need to hate everyone who's different.
tigertoy: (Default)
Because Matthew Shepard Can't, & I Can - THAT'S why.





There's so much wrong with the world, and so little of me right now to throw at any of it.  The chasm between the America of my childhood, the America I belong in (for all that it probably never existed except in my mind) and the one on the news today is so vast I can't really face it.  I can't say gay marriage is the most important issue out there.  I should be talking about global warming, or health care, or corporatism, or the anti-animal movement.  Or I should be ignoring politics and trying to get a job.  Maybe posting this shouldn't be at the top of my list, but it is the right thing to do, so here it is.
tigertoy: (Default)
I've never been married, so I can't repeat the statement that's going around that I don't think my marriage is diminished or threatened by allowing same sex couples to marry.

I will say, as a single person, that I am no more threatened by gay marriage than I am by traditional marriage.
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More than two weeks ago, [livejournal.com profile] figmo asked me 5 questions.  And now I'm finally finding the time to answer them.  I asked for simple questions that I could answer without thinking or writing a lot, because I knew I didn't have any time, and I don't think these qualify.

1. How did you get involved with tigers?

I've answered this question at great length, I recall, several times, but the only answer I can find quickly in my own journal here.  Since that's a friends-locked entry, I'll summarize here:

EFRC had done fund raisers where you could get a photo with a baby tiger a couple of times in Champaign, so I knew they existed, and I had visited the place a couple of times, but it never really made a deep impression.  But four years ago this spring, I was feeling low one weekend, and kind of on a whim I decided to go visit the tigers.  I got into a conversation with Jean Herrberg, the assistant director, and told her that I'd like to volunteer but I think I live too far away to be a help.  She said that the time I could put in would be worthwhile, so I started showing up.  And I kept on doing it, and somewhere along the line I went from being "some guy who showed up and said they wanted to volunteer" to someone they trust.

2. What kind of training is involved before you are allowed to "play with the big cats?"

It totally depends on the situation -- the actual kind of interaction involved, the animals involved, the rules at the specific facility, and what the government is requiring at that place and time.  If the AR folks get their way with HR 5909, the answer will be simple: it's not allowed, period.

In my work at EFRC, I didn't get formally trained; I just started out doing simple zero-risk jobs where I couldn't touch the cats -- holding hoses, cleaning cages (after an experienced person had locked the cat out).  After a couple of years, I was trusted to know which animals were friendly enough that I could touch them through the chain link fence.  And I don't play with the adults closer than that.  When the cats are behind chain link it is much safer than if they are behind something with larger holes, to say nothing of being inside the fence.

3. How are tigers like housecats?

Most of their body language and behavior patterns like how they stalk and play with toys are very similar.  Understanding their behavior is tricky, because they do similar behaviors, but in different combinations, and they have slightly different meanings.  But other than sounds, almost all of the behaviors of tigers can be seen in house cats.

4. How did you get into filking?

When I was in high school, we got involved with ChUSFA, the student science fiction club at the U of I.  [livejournal.com profile] billroper was a member.  He brought his guitar to a few events, and got me hooked; I started collecting songs, I started taping at cons, and when my father made the biggest sacrifice of his life and gave his permission for me to buy a guitar of my own, I started performing.

5. What skill do you wish you had that you don't have?

I could spend a week coming up with good answers to this.  But I think the one trick I really could use to make me more effective at doing everything I want to do would be to organized and mentally together enough that when I have the thought that I need to do something, I actually remember to do it at the appropriate time, whether that's something I mean to do in 30 seconds when I walk into the next room or at the next con when I'm talking face to face with someone I see once a year.

If anyone would like 5 questions from me, just ask.
tigertoy: (Default)
I usually eschew memes, but this one seems like an amusing opportunity to actually tell something about myself, rather than reaching into a hat for one of a small number of canned messages.

The meme, picked up from [livejournal.com profile] cadhla and [livejournal.com profile] figmo:  write a journal entry describing 5 "quirky, weird, or unusual habits".  The entry must also describe these rules and invite interested parties to do it in their own journal.  (That would be this paragraph right here.)

Here be weirdnesses )
tigertoy: (Default)
Gacked from [livejournal.com profile] almeda:  Let's play a game.  The object of the game is to stump me.  Go back through the archives of my journal (public entries only please), and pull out a quote.  Make it long enough that it's pretty sure to be unique and somehow deserves to be recognized.  Put it here in a response and see if I can recognize what I was talking about and more-or-less when.  If I identify the quote, I win the round, but if I can't, you do.
tigertoy: (Default)
Oh all right.  I try to avoid memes, but I'll do this one.

Please reply with something you'd like to do with me someday.  Then post a similar request in your own journal if you're so inclined.
tigertoy: (Default)
I kept seeing these goofy icons on other people's friends pages, and I finally clicked on one to see what they actually mean.

This guy is doing a Ph.D. dissertation about web logs; this is a survey for people who have blogs about how they use them.  The specific icons don't have anything to do with your answers to the survey; you just get to pick whichever one you like best.

It was a quick and painless survey, except for the last section which you, for each of a bunch of occupations, whether you know someone who does that, how well you know them, and whether you met them online or offline.  I found it surprisingly difficult to think of whether I knew someone who did job X or which person who does job Y I communicate with most; I guess that just shows that for the most part I don't identify people I interact with outside of work by their jobs.

Take the MIT Weblog Survey
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Dave asked me questions a while back, and I lost track of them, but in looking back through, I found them, so now I will answer them.

1) What's one thing about your musical performance you'd really like to improve?

What I really want to improve (or maybe I should say, discover) is connecting with the audience.  While there are plenty of things I want to get better at technically, as long as I keep myself practicing and keep myself from trying things that I haven't practiced enough recently  or I'm too tired for, I'm usually fairly happy with what I play, but I hardly ever feel that I've really succeeded in connecting with the audience, to get them to really pay attention and appreciate the song.

2) Have you ever found yourself attracted to religious beliefs other than the ones you grew up with?

I have found the religions invented by authors in some fantasy novels rather attractive -- not so much that I felt myself believing them, but that I felt that if I did find myself believing, I would be happy about it.  ("The trouble with believing is you can't decide you do / Not like how you decide you're gonna paint your kitchen blue" -- Lou & Peter)  Perhaps the best example of this is the religion in Bujold's The Curse of Chalion.

I have such a tremedous distrust of organized religion, and a profound belief that organized religion becomes perhaps the greatest evil in all of human society when it lets people trade in their minds for obedience to religious dogma, that I've never looked for a religion.

3) What's the best breakfast you can think of and how often do you have it?

I'm not a fan of traditional breakfast food.  When I do have traditional breakfast food, the thing I probably most enjoy is probably a good omelet.  I get one a few times a year, when I'm at a con hotel where there's a breakfast buffet including an omelet station and I actually get up in time for it.  But even when I am up then, if I could get a good *lunch* equally conveniently (i.e., without giving up being with friends, having to go a lot farther, or pay a lot more), I'd almost always choose lunch.

4) What was the single best thing about your recent trip?

The sense of wonder and the thrill of seeing a really beautiful sight.  There were so many times I just had to mentally pause and go *wow*.  I guess the best single place was a place well up the river from the lodge, a "rock cathedral" where the river had cut into a cliff to form a shallow cave.  We got out of the boat, and everywhere I turned, whether I looked up close or as far as I could see, was all stunning.

5) If you could go back and change careers from the get-go, what would you like to be doing now?

Somehow, I'd want to be working hands-on with tigers.  I'd like to be making a halfway decent living (nothing extravagant -- I just want health care, a house in the country, and enough free time and money that I can occasionally travel to cons or beautiful places) working at a facility that allowed a lot of people have the experience of being close to a tiger, the kind of experience that can turn people from seeing the plight of the tiger and other wild animals as just one of many problems that "somebody should do something about that someday" into something they care about personally and passionately.  Unfortunately, the availability of such positions is such that I might as well aspire to being President.
tigertoy: (Default)
1: When times are better, what do you do for a living--or what do you hope to be doing?

The only work I've ever done for a living has been computer programming in some form.  I'm currently looking for another programming job, but I can't work up much enthusiasm for it right now.  I'd like to work as a photographer, but it's a tough field especially for someone with as little motiviation as I have.  I'd like to work with big cats, but there aren't many jobs in the field at all, and incredibly few of them actually pay enough to live on.

2: Is there another field you wish you had gotten into?

I think if I were 20 years younger and going to college now, I would go into veterinary medicine.  Certainly some biology-based field.

3: Do you ever write your own songs, lyrics, or music?

I've never written more than a few lines of lyrics.  I've composed a couple of tunes in my life, and I wrote a tune for a Kipling poem once, but I never worked it into a performance piece.

4: When do you feel you had the best results conncting with an audience? What song, and what event?

At Chambanacon a few years ago (I'd have to think for a while to figure out just when it was), the big room was packed with people, and Howie had just finished making everyone laugh like crazy with the Birdie Song.  Just as the excitement was dying down, I stood up and sang Cat Faber's "The Word of God".  This was before it had been released on an album, and few people had heard it.  I played and sang well, and I felt that I had the full attention of everyone in the room -- 100 people or so.

After the song came out on albums, I found audience reaction never came close to what it was when I wasn't competing with what the song was "supposed" to sound like on the album.  This realization was so painful to me that I almost stopped singing the song, even though it's one of my favorite songs ever.

5: What is the single moment that struck you the most on your trip to South America?

There were so many moments when I was overwhelmed with the beauty around me I couldn't begin to remember them all.  More than once, I was in a place that seemed so beautiful that it didn't matter where I pointed my camera, what I saw in the viewfinder looked like a prize-winning photo.  Probably the most intense was when we went well up the river to a "rock cathedral" -- a cliff maybe 40 feet high, undercut into a shallow cave by the river, with loose rock, interesting plant life growing in the sheltered area, and a wonderful view of the river and the other bank.

The other candidate would have to be when Mishi, the tame ocelot at the lodge, first seriously started licking me.
tigertoy: (Default)
1. When did you start filking?

Bill Roper got me interested in filking when he brought his guitar to ChUSFA meetings, I think in 1978.  I went to the filk at my first con, Chamabanacon VII in 1978.  I got my first guitar in 1981 and played in public for the first time at Filkcon West in 1981.

2. Who do you think has had the greatest impact (good/bad) on today's society?

Wow, you don't ask small, simple questions, do you?  Should I look at overall historical importance, or just immediate importance to today?  Should I look at an individual person or a group?  A single individual seldom has very much impact on society as a whole; it's ideas that a lot of people follow that make a big difference, and even if those ideas can be ultimately traced to one person, a lot of other people are involved in the impact.

I identify the modern corporation as the social force that most shapes today's society, but it seems like a bit of a cop out to just name "the corporations" as my answer.  But no one individual can be identified with more than a tiny piece of that influence.  I guess I would have to identify George W. Bush as the single person I can most identify with the current mess we're in; even if you follow the school of thought that he's just the puppet of Cheney and Rove, his personal charisma and brilliant ability to get the public to pay attention to what he says rather than what his administration does are the heart of his success.

3. What one invention could you never possibly live without?

Asthma drugs.  Literally.  Albuterol kept me alive for a couple of decades until I found  Flovent, which actually lets me breathe normally.

4. What one invention do you wish had never been invented?

The broadcast commercial -- the business model of paying for broadcast content by selling part of the time to advertisers.

5. Snack time: Sweet or Salty?

Sweet.  I will eat all too many salty things if they're available, but I haven't found it too hard to live without having them in the house.  I think it would be a lot harder to get myself to stop buying chocoloate.



Anyone who'd like questions from me, just yell.
tigertoy: (Default)
1. What appeals to you about working with big cats?

There are a lot of things that appeal about the work that I do.  It's rewarding to work with people who believe in what they're doing, and to be doing something that helps an important cause.  It's good for me just to get out of the house and do something physical outside.  But ultimately, it comes down to the cats.  They're the most beautiful, magnificent creatures alive; just looking at them is a thrill.  By doing scut jobs as a volunteer, I get to hang out with them.

2. What has been the most rewarding part of working with big cats?

The biggest reward is being able to establish a personal relationship with one of the cats.  When I'm only on the property for a few hours once a week, the cats don't have that much reason to remember and care about me, but some of them clearly do; they pay attention to me in particular and give every sign of enjoying my company.  I guess if you don't already understand how magical the cats are to me, you can't understand how much it means that they appreciate me in return.

3. What work of literature has been most formative?

Hoo, that's a tough one.  I have almost no memories from before I knew how to read (not that I learned to read especially early; my early memories are just very few and vague).  I've been a voracious reader of fiction for nearly as long as I've been aware of being me, and I'm sure that's shaped or reinforced almost everything about my values, ethics, and system of thought.  But I'm not aware of any part of my character that I draw from one book in particular, and I can't think of any examples right now as I'm writing this.  It's made tougher by the fact that the individual works that had the most influence would be those I read when I was much younger, but my memory isn't very good when I go back that far.  I can't point to specific stories or books that influenced me, but I think I can point to some series that were significant.  Darkover and Pern in high school, I would say, solidified my interest in written fantasy/SF into something that would be with me for life.  Narnia and the Blish novelizations of Star Trek: TOS were among the first books I remember seeking out explicitly looking for fantasy or SF, probably when I was between 10 and 12.  I know the Star Trek books were among the first that I actually bought for myself -- almost all of my books came from the library when I was a kid.  Those two universes might also be the first worlds I didn't invent myself that I projected myself into in my daydreams.  But possibly the most formative, because it was so early, were Walter R. Brooks' Freddie the Pig books.  Sort of embarrassing to recall, but those were some of the first books I chose for myself from the big kid's part of the library where the books were just words, not picture books, and I loved them so much that I read them over and over because I was afraid to try reading other books because I might not like them.  Those books are probably where I first got exposed to the idea that human and person aren't synonyms.

4. If you could change one thing about the human race, what would it be?


So many possibilities run through my mind, and I lack the wisdom to know which one would help the most.  I think I'd like us to be much more able to recognize lies, both the lies others tell us and the lies we tell ourselves.  Not a perfect ability, and not equal in everyone, since I think either one would make us other than human -- just move the bell curve a couple standard deviations away from the gullible end of the graph.

5. Have you ever wished that you could talk to the animals?


I've understood for a very long time that real-world animals aren't people in furry suits, and being able to converse with them in words is outside of what their minds could handle.  To really be able to talk to animals would require not only changing myself, but changing the animals, and I don't want that.  But to be able to really understand what was going on in their heads, to really know how they felt about me and to let me know how I felt about them, to be able to make simple concrete requests of each other (even at the level of "move over" or "scratch here"), yeah, I want that pretty much every time I'm near an animal.


If anyone would like 5 questions from me, just ask.
tigertoy: (Default)
From [livejournal.com profile] catalana:

Go to the toy aisle of any store. All the dolls (or "action figures") come packaged with one or two "accessories." Barbie has her purse, The Hulk has a big rock, Space Ghost has little cards and a desk.

If I were to go to the toy store and buy a YOU action figure, which one or two little objects would be in your package with you? Furthermore, what outfit would you be wearing, and what action would you perform when I pressed the little lever on your back?


Click here for the details about the Tiger Caretaker Phil line of toys )

Why do I suspect that this is just won't be the next Tickle Me Elmo?

Anti-meme

Jul. 18th, 2004 08:27 pm
tigertoy: (Default)
There's one of these silly quiz memes going around that purports to tell you what Heinlein novel you belong in based on some multiple-choice questions.

Far more interesting would be to ask:

What novel (or series, movie, TV show, etc.) would you actually want to be in? You don't get to be one of the main characters. You can choose to be a (new) minor supporting character, or just to live in the world described.

It would be more true to the original meme to ask which Heinlein novel you'd want to live in, but frankly, it's been so long since I've read most Heinlein that I wouldn't feel ready to answer it. So I expand the question to one that at least intrigues me.

My answer )

Feel free to answer for yourself in your own journal. Deconstruct the idea or my answer here.
tigertoy: (Default)
Again, I took the test, so I'll post the results. )
If anyone who knows me would care to comment or quibble, fire away.
tigertoy: (Default)
I've been resisting most of the quiz-memes going around, because they seem too silly to put into my journal. But while most people's results on this one have been silly, I wholeheartedly agreed with this one.

NOTE: z
No smoking around tigertoy. Thankyou for your co-operation.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

20 songs

May. 5th, 2004 12:19 pm
tigertoy: (Default)
I looked at the "20 songs" meme in [livejournal.com profile] filkerdave's journal, and now my mind is churning with lines that would be interesting to make a quiz of.

20 songs )

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